Archives: January 2007
Carnival of the Liberals #31
Greetings
Welcome, fearless readers! Welcome to the 31st installment of the Carnival of the Liberals. Behold a sampling of the best the liberal blogosphere has to offer. Bloggers piled in the submissions this time around; darn near 50 met my gaze. As host, I dutifully read each and every one, and the 10 that follow represent my favorites. I only wish I could have picked more!
-Blue Steel
Enigma
What better way to begin Carnival of the Liberals #31 here at bipartisan Pollyticks than to start with a mystery? Everything in moderation, I always say, especially politics. Of course, I rarely practice what I preach. As a fan of bipartisanship and moderate political arguments, I found myself drawn to Chris Dolley's entry, not because it's particularly liberal, but because it's particularly good. See for yourself. Check out The Enigma Machine - A Startling Discovery.
Rapture
Hallelujah! Praise Muppets! There's always room for seconds, just like there's always room for satire ... unless you're not in the mood for it, in which case you'd be well advised to just skip Ion Zwitter's hilarious Surprise Rapture Disrupts Bush's 2007 State of the Union Address. Avant News is a veritable treasure trove of satirical genius-ery. Bon appetit!
Rise!
Standing up for your beliefs is honorable, but do it without being a rude scumbag. That's where it gets tricky, unless you're D.A.N. over at The Fifth Column Magazine. In Standing Up for What you Believe: What it Entails and What it Doesn't, he reminds us that speaking our mind doesn't have to mean losing our morals.
Intentions
We all know that actions speak louder than words, which is why my friend and yours, President George W. Bush, has very little remaining credibility. Barry Leiba at Staring at Empty Pages examines the president's latest State of the Union Address -- his many promises and newfound bipartisan bent -- in George, Dick, and Joshua. In it, Barry is clear, concise, objective and reasonable. Just like George Bush! Ha!
Fisticuffs
Let's get ready to rumble! Divided we stand, united we fall -- so says MW at -- you guessed it -- Divided We Stand, United We Fall. In President vs. Congress - Round Two & Three, MW continues his irreverent look at the division of power in Washington D.C. through a boxer's eyes. It's a technical knockout.
Free-ish
How free am I? Am I free to disagree with you? Am I free to vote Republican? Can I shout, "I love George Bush!" without being called an idiot (It burns! It burns!)? In Liberals To Black Beneficiaries of Affirmative Action: We Own You, Jamila Akil asks tough questions of the left. It's a thought provoking piece by a talented writer. Enjoy.
Homeless
What if you're not quite right or left? Where does that leave you? Jon Swift might know. He calls himself a "reasonable conservative" who likes to write about politics and culture. Since the media is biased, he gets all his news from Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and Jay Leno monologues. But seriously, check out Jon's amusing look at future American President (couldn't resist, Jon) Barack Obama in What Loaded Questions Should We Ask About Barack Obama? Jon is not quite right, not quite left, but certainly not all wrong. Take a deep breath, count to 10 and click here.
Korematsu
Uh... what? That's what I said until I read Framed's well-written, historical refresher on Korematsu v. United States, the Supreme Court decision upholding the government's power to place U.S. citizens of Japanese ancestry in internment camps during World War II. It's a lesson too many of us have forgotten. In Charles Stimson Hates Korematsu, Jim Trumm takes us back more than 60 years, by looking into the actions of current Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Detainee Affairs Charles Stimson.
Diamonds
In The Greatest Story Ever Sold is a Fantasy Covered in Blood, Amy Lin makes millions of men incredibly frustrated. No, not like that. It's a wakeup call for anyone expecting to shop for an engagement ring -- one of those wakeup calls that doesn't necessarily save you from plunking down your money on a shiny bauble, but a wakeup call nonetheless.
Gorbachev
"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" proclaimed former President Ronald Reagan on June 12, 1987 in West Berlin. It's doubtful whether Gorbachev heard the president's momentous words from the Kremlin, more than 2,000 miles away, but I digress. As the last leader of the USSR, Mikhail Gorbachev, to put it mildly, has game. Hear what the former Soviet leader has to say about current events and the state of the world since 1990 in Making a Change of Course Impossible.
And that's a wrap!
Wasn't that fun? Come on, you had fun, right? Go on, admit it. Hey, stop that. Stop spitting at me. Knock it off! Put me down! Damnit!
This marks the end of our little trip through the liberal blogosphere, ladies and gentlemen. I bid you adieu. Hope you had as much fun as I did. The Carnival of the Liberals will next plant roots at The Greenbelt on Wednesday, February 14th, 2007. Stay tuned, fearless readers!
-Blue Steel
And ... because this is STILL Pollyticks, after all, a daily cartoon:
Bush Warns Iran Not to Be Helpful on Iraq
Andy Borowitz...Quote:Read more here...
Promises ‘Swift Retribution’ for Constructive Role
Amid reports that Iran is prepared to offer Iraq help with reconstruction and other forms of economic aid, President George W. Bush warned Iran today that any helpfulness on its part would be met with “swift retribution” from the U.S.
Speaking from the White House, Mr. Bush warned Iran not to entertain any thoughts of being helpful, vowing, “No good deed will go unpunished.”
The president also issued a stern ultimatum directly to Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, warning him against “future provocative offers of help.”
“Iran can continue down this dangerous path of helpfulness, or it can resume its role as an international pariah,” Mr. Bush said. “The choice is clear.”
The president appeared bent on isolating Iran to punish it for its threatened acts of helpfulness, even naming it to what he called “The Axis of Constructiveness.”
Carnival of the Liberals #31 - Deadline to submit is tonight! 11:59PM PST
Carnival of the Liberals is a biweekly webzine featuring the best of the liberal blogosphere, and Pollyticks.com is pleased to be hosting the next issue, CotL #31, which you can view right here beginning tomorrow morning, Jan. 31, 2007.
To learn more about Carnival of the Liberals, click here.
To make a submission for CotL #31, click here.
Best jokes of the week...
"Vice President Cheney lashed out at Hillary Clinton the other day. He said on CNN that he doesn't believe Hillary would be a good president. I can understand that. I mean, his administration has raised the bar so high." --Jay Leno"Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards -- you know, the man who always says there are two Americas -- is moving into a brand new, $6 million, 28,000-square foot home on 102 acres. Well, I think we know which America he's living in." --Jay Leno
"Political experts say that Barack Obama drew record crowds in New Hampshire. Well sure, it's New Hampshire. They've never seen a black guy before." --Jay Leno
"Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is now in Iraq. She made a surprise visit to Iraq. Well, you thought Bush wanted to bomb the place before. ... She didn't say how long she'd be staying in Iraq. President Bush said he was against setting any timetables for Pelosi to return. He said to bring her back prematurely would send the wrong message." --Jay Leno
President Bush at the Annual Harley Convention
George Bush At The Harley Convention - video powered by Metacafe
Walmart security prank!
Walmart Security Prank! Funny! - video powered by Metacafe
This is what happens to people with nothing better to do.
Bush Sends Surge of 20,000 Democratic Presidential Candidates to Iraq
Andy Borowitz...Quote:Read more here...
Army Transport Planes Arrive in Iowa
Showing his determination to increase the U.S. military presence in Iraq, President George W. Bush said today that he would send 20,000 Democratic presidential candidates surging into Baghdad.
In recent days, Congress has balked at Mr. Bush’s request for more troops, but by dispatching the Democratic presidential hopefuls the president appears to have circumvented his critics.
“A lot of these candidates seem to think they can do a better job in Iraq,” Mr. Bush chuckled. “This is their chance to prove it.”
The president said that Army transport planes would arrive in Iowa later in the day to transport Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-New York), Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.), and 19,998 other Democratic candidates to Baghdad.
“This really is a win-win,” White House spokesman Tony Snow told reporters. “I think I speak for everyone at the White House when I say that we can’t wait until these folks board those planes for Iraq.”
Miami Plans Big Party When Castro Dies
Keep in mind, Miami throws a lot of parties. They'll throw a party for anything, even to celebrate another hurricane. Always on the guest list are Jennifer Lopez and Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs -- but wait! They'll be drama because the two of them used to date, and people will be saying, "We came to celebrate the death of Fidel Castro, but then Puff Daddy was talking smack about J.Lo behind her back."Remember the good ol' days when you could celebrate the death of a human being without celebrities trying to make it all about them?
Quote:Read more here...
MIAMI -- The city of Miami is planning an official celebration at the Orange Bowl whenever Cuban president Fidel Castro dies.
Discussions by a committee appointed earlier this month by the city commission to plan the event have even covered issues such as a theme to be printed on T-shirts, what musicians would perform, the cost and how long the celebration would last.
Such a gathering has long been part of the city's plan for Castro's death, but firming up the specifics has been more urgent since Castro became ill last summer and turned over power to his brother, Raul.
Carnival of the Liberals #31 - Deadline to submit is this Tuesday (1/30/07), 11:59PM PST
Carnival of the Liberals is a biweekly webzine featuring the best of the liberal blogosphere, and Pollyticks.com is pleased to be hosting the next issue, CotL #31, which you can view right here beginning Wednesday morning, Jan. 31, 2007.
If you're a liberal blogger, and you're looking for a way to get your work out there, then take one of your best posts, one of those gems you're so proud of and just know the world would lavish heaps of praise upon you for, and submit it using the link below by the deadline tomorrow night. As host of Issue #31, it's my prerogative (to steal a phrase from Hip Hop legend and cocaine afficianado Bobby Brown) whether or not I choose to include your post, but you never know. Give it a shot.
You can expect your brilliant work to be seen by literally tens of millions of readers... not. Just kidding. I don't know how many people will see it, but I bet it's more than five yet less than 10 million.
For the record, I don't consider myself your average, run-of-the-mill liberal blogger. Matter of fact, people who know me would hasten to call me a moderate (God forbid).
Be sure to send in your submissions by the deadline (1/30/07, 11:59PM PST).
To learn more about Carnival of the Liberals, click here...
Again, to make a submission for CotL #31, click here.
To learn more about CotL, click here.
-Blue
Craziest Laws in America
Here's a great list of some of the craziest laws in America. My personal favorites: Alabama's "You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant" law, Hawaii's law against placing a coin in your ear, and Illinois' law against "dwarf tossing" in bars.Seriously, read more here...
Apple Recalls iPhone; Forgot to Include ‘Phone’ Feature
Andy Borowitz...Quote:Read more here...
Jobs: Oops
In what could prove to be the most embarrassing misstep in consumer electronics history, Apple Inc. announced today that it would recall its entire production run of the Apple iPhone after discovering that it had failed to include a “phone” feature in the much-hyped handheld device.
Speaking from Apple corporate headquarters, company founder Steve Jobs offered consumers his apology for the monumental goof and seemed to be searching for an explanation for how it could have occurred.
“First and foremost, we’re sorry,” a red-faced Mr. Jobs said in a conference call with Wall Street analysts. “When you make a product called the iPhone, people expect it to include a phone, and we messed that part up.”
» There's more to this entry. Click here for the rest of it.
Americans Demand Military Response After Chinese Shoot Down DirecTV Satellite
The Onion...Quote:Read more here...
WASHINGTON, DC—A citizens' group presented a petition signed by nearly 75 million Americans to key members of Congress Monday, demanding the United States take immediate military action against China after the Communist nation shot down a DirecTV satellite last week. "This is a blatant attack on the American way of life," said the group's founder Abe Saloom...
Who Wants To Be An Amerikan - Vancouver Film School (VFS)
An entire short film (10 minutes) created by Vancouver Film School graduate Aaron Beckum through the VFS Film Production program. Pretty good piece of work. Worth the time to watch.
Photos inside a Japanese prison
And you thought American prisons were bad...?"JAIL"? In Japan - Unbelievable!!!! - video powered by Metacafe
Area Family's Trip To New Hampshire Sparks Rumors Of Presidential Bid
The Onion...Quote:Read more here...
MANCHESTER, NH—Rumors are swirling among Beltway insiders that the Patterson family vacation last weekend to New Hampshire, site of the first presidential primary, was, in fact, an attempt by the Michigan family of four to test the waters for a 2008 presidential run.
The Pattersons reportedly spent most of their three-day stay in the Granite State—known for its ability to make or break a candidate—interacting with locals, visiting key landmarks, and, according to political observers, using the outing to showcase their message of strong family values. They were seen taking a guided tour of a maple-sugar house in Barrington as well as stopping for countless photo opportunities outside government buildings in Concord and at other sites around the state.
"No one knew they were planning to throw their hat in the ring," Boston Globe columnist Scott Lehigh said. "They've obviously been planning this trip for months, maybe even as long as a year.
Learn to Speak English in America
Not because you have to (because there's no law that says you have to), but because understanding English in America opens up so many more opportunities for you.Why am I writing this...? If you can read this you already speak English... I'm an idiot.
Public Comments on Israeli President Accused Of Rape
The Onion...Quote:Read more here...
The Israeli parliament agreed to allow President Moshe Katsav to temporarily step down in order to fight possible rape charges. What do you think?
Esther Jones,
Systems Analyst
"Rape charges against the president of Israel? Man, Lebanon is really going to pay for this one somehow."
Lee Marlowe,
Support Staff
"I sure hope he wasn't Bar Mitzvah'ed. He'll serve much less time in prison if he's charged as a juvenile."
Moses Brown,
Social Worker
Well, at least he'll have Palestinian support behind him for having raped a Jew."
Cheney: Well, I'm vice president and they're not.
The vice president doesn't like it when Republicans speak ill of fellow Republicans, or, apprently when they question each other's decisions. Cheney looks at the Republican Party as a cult of like-minded friends, and you don't say bad things about your friend.Jeez, could this guy sound any crazier?
Quote:Read more here...
"Let's say I believe firmly in Ronald Reagan's 11th commandment: Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow Republican," Cheney said. "But it's very hard sometimes to adhere to that where Chuck Hagel is involved."
Bush No Longer a Miserable Failure - Photographic Proof!
For more than two years, if you typed in the words, 'miserable failure' into Google, the top search result would have been to the White House's site, what is known as a 'Google Bomb.' Alas, but no more. Try it for yourself.
Best jokes of the week... (More)
"John Kerry announced yesterday that he will not run for president in 2008. ... He says he wants to spend more time on his career in comedy." --Jay Leno"Senator John Kerry went to the floor to make what he called an 'important and urgent announcement' [on screen: Kerry talking about a variety of things and concluding that he will not run for WH '08]. Unfortunately, this is another example of sloppy journalism. The media said this is Kerry announcing he will not run in 2008. In fact, this was Kerry simply completing his concession speech from 2004" --Jon Stewart
"President Bush is being criticized for not mentioning New Orleans in his speech the other night. Today the president apologized and said, 'I can't believe I ignored New Orleans ... again.'" --Jay Leno
"John Kerry announced yesterday that he will not run for president in 2008, which leaves only several hundred Democratic candidates for president." --Jimmy Kimmel
Sen Joe Biden announces his bid to lose the 2008 presidential nomination
Good ol' Joe. I don't know much about Sen. Biden, but I'll never forget a couple of his most bizarre votes. He voted FOR the bankruptcy bill, making it tougher for Americans to declare, and he voted to reauthorize the Patriot Act when it came time to renew it last year. What's up, Joe? Read more here...Why are anti-war protestors always smiling in photos?
Why is it that every time there's a media photo of Americans protesting the Iraq war, the photo is of people who look like they're at a family picnic? -- like it's a fun get together instead of the serious effort it's supposed to be. Americans tailgate at war protests now instead of holding hunger strikes.It's like the people protesting are just having such a great time, taking in the sun, fresh air, and catching up with old protestor buddies. You even see parents with their kids, smiling with pride at the next generation of anti-establishment cuties. Is the message they're trying to send that "protesting is fun," or is it, "Get the f*ck out of Iraq"?
The angry protestors in these photos are usually the people from other countries protesting the United States... and the overjoyed, smiling protestors are the Americans who are protesting the Iraq war.
I know there has to be a heartfelt, serious side to some of these protests that's not being conveyed by the photos I'm seeing in the mainstream media.
Read more here...
Cheney Spars with Blitzer Over Criticism of Iraq, Mary's Pregnancy
No. 1, Vice President Cheney is scary. I mean, he's thoroughly incompetent, which typically makes someone less scary, but he's got a gift for scary. No. 2, Wolf Blitzer is a doofus. What's sad is that I think America does have a right to ask where the VP stands on homosexual marriage and gay rights in general, and the fact that the VP's daughter is gay is relevant to public policy the VP helps set, but Blitzer asks his question like a wet noodle. Where's the cajones, Wolf? Stand up for yourself, stick to the subject matter and do your job.Bush’s Speech Inspires Confidence, Drinking Game
Andy Borowitz...Quote:Read more here...
Collegians Get Hammered When President Says ‘Iraq’
President Bush’s State of the Union Address Tuesday night inspired confidence among Republican Party loyalists and a drinking game that spread like wildfire on college campuses across the country.
In dorms and frat houses alike, collegians spent Tuesday laying in ice cold kegs of Old Milwaukee and bottles of Jagermeister, ready to down a beer or do a shooter when Mr. Bush said the word “Iraq.”
At the Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity at the University of Northern South Dakota, the atmosphere was tense in the early minutes of the president’s speech, as Mr. Bush focused on domestic issues and failed to use the word “Iraq” even once.
“I was sitting there and I was like, am I ever going to get hammered tonight?” said Tracy Klujian, a DKE brother who helped organize the game. “I was like, President Bush, dude, don’t leave me hanging.”
American Dad: Women in Saudi
OK, now, this one is going to offend some people, and I apologize for that, but you have to understand -- I don't care.
Just kiddin'. Don't take anything I say or post too seriously.
Headline: "Clinton Edges Obama For Democratic Presidential Nomination." Since when does 40 to 21 percent equate to "edges"?
The race for president in 2008 has barely begun, but as of this moment, the Clinton-Obama grudge match is a one-sided affair. Hillary Clinton easily smokes Obama's behind, but she's got the name recognition edge. Let's not forget, she's also got the highest negative ratings of any candidate, Democrat or Republican, in the field. A lot of folks like her but almost as many can't stand her. The race will tighten up. They always do.Quote:Read more here...
Washington, D.C. (AHN) - It may be a bit premature, but political pollsters are wasting no time trying to determine which candidate the American public wants to lead the nation in 2008.
According to a TIME magazine poll released earlier in the week, while Hillary Clinton is currently the favorite to win the Democratic party's nomination for President in 2008, voters are less certain about who should get the Republican's presidential nod.
The TIME magazine poll of some 1,064 registered voters finds that voters preferred Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama, the popular Illinois Senator, by a margin of 40 percent to 21 percent. Despite, all the press coverage surrounding Obama's declaration to run for President, Hillary still benefits from her long-standing high profile, with a whopping 94 percent saying they knew enough about Hillary to form an opinion. On the other hand, only 51 percent of likely voters said the same thing about Obama.
Best jokes of the week...
"The Academy Award nominations were announced earlier today. ... Al Gore's movie received two nominations, and out of habit, Al demanded a recount." --David Letterman"Democrats have a lot of choices. Hillary Clinton would be the first woman president. Bill Richardson would be the first Hispanic president. Barack Obama would be the first black president. And Dennis Kucinich would be the first hobbit president." --Jay Leno
"A guy was kicked off a flight for wearing an anti-Bush t-shirt. ... When he refused to take off the shirt or change the shirt, they kicked him off the plane. Here's the scary thing: it turns out he was the pilot for Air Force One." --Jay Leno
"This is the first year that the president is facing a Democratic-controlled Congress, with the new speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, over his left shoulder holding a possible murder weapon. ... I don't envy Bush going to speak to a Democratic Congress. They just finished their bally hoot 100-hour law-passing marathon in -- get this -- 42 hours. There's your hard working Democrats, folks. Hey, we're finished, right? Let's take the next 58 hours off to drop peyote and perform abortions on unwed immigrant teens." --Stephen Colbert
Fox’s Gibson: CNN Reporter Who Debunked Obama Smear Probably Went To The Same Madrassa
Is John Gibson a bigot or merely an idiot? Listen to FOX News idiot John Gibson stick to his guns that Senator Barack Obama went to school at a terrorist training facility in Indonesia despite the FACT that CNN actually went to the school and debunked the whole crap. Gibson is so sure of his ridiculous -- couldn't be any MORE ridiculous -- theory that he's willing to ignore actual evidence to the contrary from a reporter dispatched to the school who's seen it with his own eyes.The only explanation I have for this is that FOX News' John Gibson is totally out of his mind. That, or this is the worst kind of politics, completely fabricating a story to undermine someone's candidacy. Take your pick, Mr. Gibson. Are you a lying scumbag, an idiot or a bigot?
Quote:Read (and hear) more here...
Partial transcript:
GIBSON: The whole point of this story last week, and, you know, Blitzer’s just been on their air with some update on this, right?
HOST: Yeah, he sent a reporter out there.
GIBSON: Yeah, cause they got a reporter in Indonesia, probably went to the very madrassa, now works for CNN. But that reporter went out there, and what did they see when they went to the madrassa where Barack Obama went to school?
HOST: Kids playing volleyball.
GIBSON: Playing volleyball, right. They didn’t see them in any terrorist training camps?
Candidates to Outnumber Voters in ’08
Andy Borowitz...Quote:Read more here...
One in Two Americans Running for President, Experts Say
For the first time in American history, the number of Americans running for president in 2008 will actually be greater than the number of Americans voting for president, electoral experts said today.
With politicians throwing their hats in the ring at a torrid pace, by November of 2008 one out of every two Americans is expected to be running for the nation’s highest office – an extraordinary figure by any measure.
While the negative tone of recent election campaigns have turned off voters in record numbers, the appeal of being the world’s most powerful person has never been greater, causing the two trend lines to cross.
In the last week alone, Senators Hillary Clinton (D-New York), Barack Obama (D-Illinois), and Sam Brownback (R-Kansas) have established exploratory committees, but so have some 40,000 other Americans, according Carol Foyler, executive director of the Committee on Exploratory Committees.
CIA Director Quietly Buys Nuclear Attack Insurance
The Onion...Quote:Read more here...
BETHESDA, MD—According to sources at the Allstate Insurance Company, CIA Director Michael Hayden purchased nuclear-attack insurance Wednesday, paying a $100,000 monthly premium for his homes in suburban Washington, Pittsburgh, and near Cheyenne Mountain, CO. "It's a typical nuclear policy that protects the insured from damages caused by fallout—pretty straightforward, though at that monthly rate, I don't usually sell too many of them," said Bethesda, MD–based Allstate agent Gary Rutter...
If a woman were president
OK... now before you swamp me with hate mail, just know that I would love to have a woman president. This is just a joke video. Please don't hate.Best Jokes of the Week ...(More)
"Hillary says she has gotten hundreds of calls telling her to go out on the road and campaign for the next two years. And that's just from her husband, Bill." --Jay Leno"The president's daughter, Jenna Bush, is reportedly trying to get a book deal to write about her life in the White House. President Bush is very upset about it -- not about what she'll write, he's just worried he'll have to read another book" --Jay Leno
"Bush State of the Union VI. As it does every year, this State of the Union matches up two bitter rivals: the president of the United States and words. Right now, as we speak, words holds a three to two advantage." --Jon Stewart
"How will the president describe the state of our union? Well, over the past six tumultuous years, he has always managed to find just the right word to encapsulate the complexities of our times [on screen: Bush using varieties of 'strong']. Strongly, we will use strength to bestrongen our strongness, for strongaliciousness is strongtastic. ... That's what you get for relying exclusively on Roget's Monosaurus." --Jon Stewart
VA Senator Jim Webb Delivers Democratic Response - Full Transcript
Virginia Senator Jim Webb (D-VA) and his wife Hong Le Webb
Jim Webb delivered the Democratic Party's response to President Bush's State of the Union last night, and let me tell you, it's a doozy -- not the SOTU but Webb's response. I don't know if Webb wrote this himself, but whoever did knows how to make a point. Here's an excerpt. The whole thing is really this good. The link directs to the full transcript. I highly recommend this. Nothing funny here, but it's worth reading just the same. -Blue
Quote:Read more here...
There are two areas where our respective parties have largely stood in contradiction, and I want to take a few minutes to address them tonight. The first relates to how we see the health of our economy how we measure it, and how we ensure that its benefits are properly shared among all Americans. The second regards our foreign policy, how we might bring the war in Iraq to a proper conclusion that will also allow us to continue to fight the war against international terrorism, and to address other strategic concerns that our country faces around the world.
When one looks at the health of our economy, it's almost as if we are living in two different countries. Some say that things have never been better. The stock market is at an all-time high, and so are corporate profits. But these benefits are not being fairly shared. When I graduated from college, the average corporate CEO made 20 times what the average worker did; today, it's nearly 400 times. In other words, it takes the average worker more than a year to make the money that his or her boss makes in one day.
Wages and salaries for our workers are at all-time lows as a percentage of national wealth, even though the productivity of American workers is the highest in the world. Medical costs have skyrocketed. College tuition rates are off the charts. Our manufacturing base is being dismantled and sent overseas. Good American jobs are being sent along with them.
Clearly partisan JibJab-style anti-Hillary cartoon
Hillary For Prez In 2008 - video powered by Metacafe
I'm not even a big Hillary fan, but this just doesn't seem funny to me. Still, I'll let ya'all be the judge.
Best jokes of the week...
"Muslim groups are concerned that the new season of '24,' which features Muslim terrorists setting off a nuclear explosive near Los Angeles, will foster hate against them and create a climate of Islamophobia. Also creating a climate of Islamophobia -- terrorism." --Seth Meyers"The Reverend Jesse Jackson told CNN that he's planning to endorse Barack Obama for president. Experts say this is a risky move for Jackson, because hardly anything rhymes with 'Barack Obama.'" --Conan O'Brien
"President Bush is expected for the first time next week in the State of the Union address to talk about global warming. He doesn't want to, but it's either that or talk about Iraq." --Jay Leno
"There's still a lot of criticism of the Saddam Hussein hanging. You know, the way I look at it is Saddam died doing what he loved -- attending an execution." --Jay Leno
Fuzzy Math (Click to Play)
Click the image to link directly to the video. It's not the most impressive animation, but the finished product works pretty well.
Bush makes more failed plans than Kevin Federline
In his State of the Union tonight President Bush is expected to (try to) focus on domestic issues, his magician's hands concealing the real trick. "Watch me pull 21,000 troops out of my hat."Still, it'll be interesting to hear what the Democrats have to say about Bush's new health care, energy and education "plans." I put "plans" in quotes because this president has had more failed plans than Kevin Federline. Remember that Social Security thing? Or the mission to Mars? Or how 'bout that whole Iraq thing? What else... Didn't we hear something about immigration too?
Quote:Read more here...
The president is expected to address:
-Health care. Bush will propose a tax deduction of $7,500 for individuals and $15,000 for families regardless of whether they buy their own health insurance or receive medical coverage at work. He also would subject employer-sponsored health care benefits to taxation, meaning those with more policies worth more than the deduction would see a tax hike. But those who get policies at work worth less than the deduction, the preponderance of workers with employer-provided insurance, would get a tax break. Another proposal would give some federal money now going to hospitals and other facilities to states for programs to reduce the number of uninsured.
-Energy. Bush is expected to call for a sharp escalation in the federal mandate on use of ethanol as a renewable fuel alternative, a goal that may prove difficult to meet. He also may seek the power to raise fuel economy standards for passenger cars, authority he also asked for last year. Some Democrats worried the plan would give transportation officials overly broad authority to change the system.
-Education. Bush will push for Congress to renew his education accountability law, No Child Left Behind, which expires this year. Democrats will expect him to go along with increases in spending to help schools make the required progress under the law.
Bush’s State of the Union Address to be Simulcast in English
Andy Borowitz...Quote:Read more here...
President Hopes to Reach Broader Audience, Aides Say
For the first time since he was elected president of the United States, George W. Bush’s State of the Union address tonight will be simulcast in English, the White House confirmed.
With the public unenthusiastic about the president’s plan to send a “surge” of troops to Baghdad, the decision to simulcast the speech in English was widely seen as an attempt by Mr. Bush to make an appeal to a broader audience.
“The majority of people in this country are English speaking, and quite frankly, we can’t afford to ignore them any longer,” White House spokesperson Tony Snow said. “Hopefully, by doing the English simulcast, we’ll be reaching out to a lot of those folks.”
Once the decision was made earlier in the month to launch the historic first English simulcast of a speech by President Bush, then began the hard work of translating the text of the address from Mr. Bush’s language into English.
Poll: 100% of Republicans Support Hillary’s Decision to Run
Andy Borowitz...Quote:Read more here...
GOP Reaction Ranges from Ecstatic to Euphoric
Just days after announcing her candidacy for president, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-New York)’s decision to run for her party's nomination has picked up support in an unlikely place, with a new poll showing that an overwhelming 100% of Republicans favor her decision to run.
The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, shows that while only 41% of Democrats support Sen. Clinton’s decision to run, a full 100% of Republicans identify themselves as either “ecstatic” or “euphoric” about her decision.
“Over the weekend, Sen. Clinton announced to the country, ‘I’m in,’” said Rockwell Pritchard of the Opinion Research Institute. “And Republican voters seem to have responded, ‘We’re stoked.’”
Sen. Clinton’s poll numbers are in stark contract with the level of G.O.P. support for Sen. Barack Obama (D-Illinois)’s decision to run for president, which stands at zero percent.
Facts and Falsehoods about Obama
The Too Sense blog tries to set the record straight on Barack Obama by targeting some of the critical statements being made about him. Great article. Lots of links and info to refute these popular tidbits:Lie: The Clinton Campaign leaked information about Barack Obama.
Lie: Barack Obama attended a radical Muslim school, where he was taught Wahhabism.
Lie: Barack Obama attended a Muslim school for four years.
Lie: A madrassa is any school that teaches radical Islam.
Lie: Obama's father raised him as a radical Muslim.
Lie: Barack Obama is a Muslim.
Lie: Barack Obama is a Muslim who converted to Christianity in order to seek public office.
Lie: Barack Obama is sympathetic to radical Islam.
Lie: Barack Obama's real name is Hussein.
Lie: Barack Obama willingly chose to study radical Islam as an adult in Indonesia.
Read more here...
Saddam, The Unseen Video
Now, yes, this is tasteless. If it's any consolation, I'll make fun of almost anyone...Saddam The Unseen Video - video powered by Metacafe
Despite Approval Numbers in the Gutter for Bush and His Plans, the Country is Still Evenly Divided
Even though President Bush has the worse polling numbers ever, a hypothetical Democrat still can't get 50% of the vote in 2008? Wow.Quote:Read more here...
Looking ahead to the 2008 presidential election, 49 percent of registered voters say they would prefer to see a Democrat take office versus 28 percent who would favor a Republican. In various potential match-ups, top candidates polled very closely among registered voters: for Democrat Hillary Clinton versus Republican John McCain, 48 percent of registered voters said they would choose Clinton while 47 percent said McCain; for Democrat Barack Obama versus McCain, 46 percent said they would choose Obama, while 44 percent said McCain; for Democrat John Edwards versus McCain, 48 percent chose Edwards, while 43 percent chose McCain; for Clinton versus Republican Rudy Giuliani, 47 percent chose Clinton, while 48 percent chose Giuliani; for Obama versus Giuliani, 45 percent chose Obama, while 47 percent chose Giuliani; and for Edwards versus Giuliani, 48 percent chose Edwards while 45 percent chose Giuliani.
Family Guy- Fleas
To quote President George W. Bush, "Never bring a knife to a gun fight... against fleas, or terrorists. God bless America!"US says goose not good for gander when it comes to Chinese satellite-eating missiles
OK, help me out here. The US says that only it can blow sh*t up in space, and that no one else had better ever try! So, the Chinese -- and keep in mind George W. Bush is our president here -- shoot down one of their own satellites in a test, and the US government goes apesh*t? It's not like we're talking about a nuclear test here. A weapon like this is clearly a defensive weapon planned to be used in the event of US aggression against Chinese interests (aka Taiwan), right? -- or am I a pinko commie bastard?
I don't know... Just smells of stinky hypocrisy to me. Talk amongst yourselves.
Quote:Read more here...
The US has asked China to explain its intentions after Beijing reportedly carried out a weapons test in space last week.
It is thought the Chinese used a ground-based, medium-range ballistic missile to destroy a weather satellite.
The US state department said it did not want the "militarisation of space" [by anyone other than the US, of course].
China's foreign ministry refused to confirm or deny the report but said Beijing was opposed to "any form of arms race".
The test, if confirmed, would be the first known satellite intercept for more than 20 years.
Rumsfeld Leaves Most Recent Job Off Resumé
What's the big deal...? Everyone fibs on their resume. On mine I always leave off the years I worked as an exotic male dancer. It's just not relevant to information technology.Quote:Read more here...
ST. MICHAELS, MD—A resumé apparently written by Donald Rumsfeld that omits his position as Defense Secretary in the current Bush administration was leaked to the press Monday, approximately one month after his departure from the post.
The resumé lists Rumsfeld's most recent position as chairman of the biopharmaceutical firm Gilead Sciences, from which he resigned in 2001.
Dated Jan. 2007, the resumé was distributed at D.C.–area offices, think tanks, lecture agencies, and high-end department stores. It emphasizes Rumsfeld's pre-War On Terror job experience, leaving recipients to wonder why he neglected to cite his most recent and recognizable credential.
"It's a very notable work history as is, but I'm not sure why he chose to stress his cofounding of the Japanese–American Inter-Parliamentary Council as much as he did," said Crystal Hopewell, Director of Human Resources for Nordstrom, Inc. "Perhaps to demonstrate that he could work well with others?"
FOX News Just Can't Help Themselves
The press is talking about laws to stop Americans from spanking their own children. I want to know why there isn't a law against FOX News using the word 'News' in its name.Domain auction tops out at $25.2k. Domain? ImpeachBush.com
eBay Item number: 280070328094, bidding ended on Jan. 19, 2007 at $25,200.00. What a steal!
From the auction description...
Quote:Read more here...
Description (revised)
impeachbush.com domain name is for sale.
We have received numerous inquiries and offers over the years for this premium, highly recognizable domain name, but an open and public online auction seemed the most fair and democratic approach to its sale.
On the exact day this auction ends, two full years of George W. Bush’s presidency will still be ahead of us. This domain name has never been developed or associated with any group, website, product, or movement, though its applicability as a focal point for fundraising, awareness raising, or commercial development is self-evident.
The “dot.com” domain name format has long been the gold standard. With no previous web development effort, “impeach bush” apparently generates millions of hits on major search engines:
Google: 1,600,000 hits for “impeach bush”
Yahoo: 3,930,000 hits for “impeach bush”
Impeachbush.com has never been used in connection with any other site, product, or movement. It would be yours to define and apply.
We are only selling the name.
Obama Smeared As Former ‘Madrassa’ Student, Possible Covert Muslim Extremist
The network that brought you Bush's current press secretary, the Swift Boat Veterans, and the phrase "homicide bomber" is now implying that Barack Obama attended jihadist training camp as a kid. Read more here...
Cheney Invites Libby on Hunting Trip
Andy Borowitz...Quote:Read more here...
Nothing to Do With Perjury Trial, Veep Insists
Vice President Dick Cheney raised eyebrows in Washington today by announcing that he was inviting his former chief of staff, I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, to join him on a hunting trip in Texas.
Coming as it did during the first week of Mr. Libby’s trial for perjury relating to the CIA leak case, the vice president’s invitation to hunt for quail seemed certain to arouse suspicions.
But in a press conference at the White House today, Mr. Cheney insisted that the hunting trip had been in the works “for months” and had nothing to do with Mr. Libby’s trial.
“I just thought that this would give Scooter a chance to get a little fresh air,” Mr. Cheney said. “As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing more relaxing than hunting – especially when you bag something.”