McCain, Giuliani Romance Began as Rivalry
Accident at Restaurant Led to Affair
Despite freak storms bringing record rains and cold temps to sections of the East Coast, spring is in the air. On the campaign trail, romance has flourished. Sen. John McCain and Rudy Giuliani, once rivals for the 2008 Republican nomination for president, have stepped out of the closet and into the limelight.
Critics call it a publicity stunt, but people close to the campaigns say it's genuine.
"I'd just gotten back from Baghdad," McCain explains, "where, BTW, things are MUCH, MUCH better than they were before the surge, and the McCain team stops at a Burger King for lunch. I get out, right, to shake some babies and kiss some hands, and who do I see? -- none other than Rudy. He's chatting up a cashier at the register, so I surprise him, right? I sneak up from behind and shock him in the ribs!"
McCain says Giuliani whirled around in surprise, but the look in the former mayor's eyes wasn't one of anger or disgust. McCain says he saw love and understanding beneath that balding pate.
"It's just one of those things that happened," McCain said of their meeting at Burger King. "When it was time to go, we both moved in for a hug-n-shake and one of those safe cheek kisses, but at the last instant, one of us -- I think it was Rudy, but he says it was me -- turned to face forward, and our lips locked. The rest is history."
The Giuliani camp was unavailable for comment, but would-be ex-first lady Donna Hanover, one of the former mayor's former wives, said she was not surprised to hear the news.
"John McCain is an attractive older man," Hanover said. "And Rudy is probably tired of looking for love in all the wrong places."
In other news, President Bush issued an executive order prohibiting use of the words "White House scandal."
*First posted on April 17, 2007
TAGS: John McCain, Rudy Giuliani, Satire, Parody, Humor, Funny, Love, Presidential Campaign, 2008
- May 17, 2007
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